on days like these i really wish i was completely alone.
there has to be something the matter with me, i swear.
lately i've been spending most of my time outside and i can't sit on my special rock because there are bees all around the fish pond.
today i sat in the grass for the first time in my whole life because i haven't had a dog in 3 years so there isn't dog shit everywhere now.
it made me love my backyard a whole lot.
the neighborhood kids were all in the yard next to be playing on the cheap swing set from K Mart and i was hiding so they wouldn't see me smoke cigarettes and when i was finish i peaked out and all i saw was one swing swinging with no one on it.
i liked that even more than my backyard because they just disappeared. i want to disappear and be left without a trace. i want to be forgotten and wiped off the face of this earth and be in the stars looking down on everyone. i want to head to a new world and learn everything completely new and regain all my innocence and be naive and grow into a person that can handle society because right now, i'm not that person. being able to disappear will be the greatest thing for me yet if only i could make a plan of how to actually disappear.
i also wonder what it's like to be an ant and how long ants actually live for and what they think of before they are squashed and how they work and how they can carry another ant and how the communicate with each other. and i want to know why whenever there is a melted Popsicle on the ground, why are there a bunch of dead ants around it? i want to become an ant.
there has to be something the matter with me, i swear.
lately i've been spending most of my time outside and i can't sit on my special rock because there are bees all around the fish pond.
today i sat in the grass for the first time in my whole life because i haven't had a dog in 3 years so there isn't dog shit everywhere now.
it made me love my backyard a whole lot.
the neighborhood kids were all in the yard next to be playing on the cheap swing set from K Mart and i was hiding so they wouldn't see me smoke cigarettes and when i was finish i peaked out and all i saw was one swing swinging with no one on it.
i liked that even more than my backyard because they just disappeared. i want to disappear and be left without a trace. i want to be forgotten and wiped off the face of this earth and be in the stars looking down on everyone. i want to head to a new world and learn everything completely new and regain all my innocence and be naive and grow into a person that can handle society because right now, i'm not that person. being able to disappear will be the greatest thing for me yet if only i could make a plan of how to actually disappear.
i also wonder what it's like to be an ant and how long ants actually live for and what they think of before they are squashed and how they work and how they can carry another ant and how the communicate with each other. and i want to know why whenever there is a melted Popsicle on the ground, why are there a bunch of dead ants around it? i want to become an ant.
No comments:
Post a Comment