no strings attached

Lately, I haven’t really had enough time to think. When I do I think of everything at once I can’t think what I’m thinking when I isolate just one thought. My brain just lingers way and I’m lost in the trance of my thought. I feel it in my heart when this happens. I feel what I REALLY want. My heart has this sweet, soft melting feeling. And my finger tips feel like pins and needles, the good kind. I feel so appreciative, but that’s not the right word but it’s the only one that comes to mind. I don’t want drugs and alcohol anymore. I want to be a happy girl that doesn’t self-medicate herself from the bad feelings the world threw at her. I want to skip rocks with everyone. I want to skip around with an ice cream cone in my hand. I want to dance to EVERY song and have everyone smile. I want to be in my underwear and swim in the river and jump in while we all hold pinkies. I want to share my blankets with you and watch movies, all types of movies. I want movies that will make you cry, ones that will make you laugh so hard your stomach and cheeks hurt, ones that make you so scared you cover your eyes and pry them open to watch what is happening. I want to read books together. I want to blow bubbles and clap them. I want to fill balloons with helium and write thoughts and wishes on them and let them go. I want to thumb wrestle with you. I want to leg wrestle with you. I want to sit around and play video games with you. I want to tell knock-knock jokes with you. I want to outline our bodies with chalk like a crime scene. And I want to play hopscotch with you. I want to have cozy nights with you, where we curl up in cuddle puddles under nice, warm blankets near a fire. I want to have serious nights with you, where we delay the fun for a while and talk about what’s on our minds. I want to go through old pictures with you and tell you the story of it. I want to pretend with you. I want to imagine with you. I want to enjoy life with you. I want you to call me to tell me something that no one would care about. I want to chase you and be chased. I want to play hide-n-seek. I want to climb a mountain with you. I want to share everything with you. I mean EVERYTHING, with an exception of a few things, like toilet paper. I want to share memories, laughter, thoughts, wishes, beliefs, tears. I want to go to bed thinking of all the possibilities we can do tomorrow and wake up with a fresh, new list to do.

This all seems so perfect; just being free. Not living to everyone’s standards. Not being someone you’re not. Not being afraid of someone judging you, of the world judging you. You are showing the world who you are; I am showing you who I am. Sharing with each other, creating with each other; it all seems so perfect imagining it but why waste the thoughts and excitement of it all and live it. Let’s do it together. Let’s be there for each other. Let’s be happy. Let’s have adventures. Let’s laugh. Let’s imagine. Let’s enjoy. Let’s pretend. Let’s enjoy. Let’s share. Let’s play. Let’s snuggle. Let’s remember. Let’s do it all. Let’s not hold back.
We have one life to be ourselves. Let’s not sit around and do nothing. Let’s not waste anything. Don’t not be you. Don’t live to be someone else. Have someone there. I want someone to be there.